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It must be about 4 weeks since my last blog and my daughter Charlotte is now 8 weeks old. Charlotte is doing so well putting on weight which is excellent as I had to stay in hospital for a week as she was not feeding very well. Charlotte has Downs so feeding from the breast was not working, I was expressing milk after every feed and amazingly I managed it for about 7 weeks, then I started to dwindle it down and now she is on just formula. We had a hospital appoinment on monday  and Charlotte was weighed and she has put on nearly 2lb from birth which is fantastic. We have been for heart checks as well and everything is looking good as the whole in her heart is slightly closing so it may close on its own. We have got to go back in February to get it checked.

The kids love Charlotte to bits and are always fighting over her (who's going to hold her next). Charlotte is now smiling sometimes but not yet making noises but it will come and she ...

Well it's been a few weeks since my last entry and we now have a beautiful little girl who came early at 36w 5d weighing only 5.4lb on the 7th July. During my pregnancy I had a high risk of Downs which was 1 in 55, we did not have any more test's as we would not have aborted the pregnancy no matter what the outcome was. Well our beautiful little girl has got Downs which we both knew deep down before she was born. I had a ok delivery giving birth naturaly but then I had some placenta left so I had to be rushed down to theatre, I had to have my worst nightmare of a spinal injection so they could remove it manually which was very scary but I pulled through with no problems. I did end up staying in hospital for about a week due to our little girl who we have called Charlotte having feeding problems. She has had difficulty taking my breast so I have  to express all the time which I am still doing, I keep trying her on the breast but I have had no luck yet but you never know she may all o ...

I am now 34weeks and 2days, i am writing this feeling really fed  up & bored with my husband fast asleep on the sofa in a living that is now half completed. We are waiting for the decoraters quote and for my dad to do some woodwork before he starts. I still have not got the nursery painted all I want is a one coat to tidy it up no gloss. So everything is now stacked up in the gargage waiting to be put together. I can see me doing that the week Junior is due. We don't go out much so I am getting really bored being stuck in home especially now I have not been working for a couple of months due to being made redundant. I am always worried about hubby as all he does when he comes home is gets his dinner puts our 6year old to bed if he is home in time which is not very often and then lays on the sofa and goes sleep untill we go bed, even at the weekends when he gets a lay in he still falls asleep not just at night even during the day when he si ...

It's been up and down the last few weeks reason for not getting chance to write anything.

3 weeks ago I was made redundant which was very upsetting as I had planned to work until July and we had budgeted for all the baby things so now I have had to start claiming Job Seekers Allowance which is giving me a little bit. Still seeing if I can get just a few weeks work but of course nobody is interested when I can only work part time. I am enjoying it at home starting to get things ready. We are stripping the living room after 7 years of being here ready for when the baby arrives which we said we would do this year so I refuse to put it off any longer. I'm then going to get the nursery ready.

We have also had some other stressful things going on over the last few month's which thankfully is all over, it's just now forgetting all about it which I am finding very hard because it put such a strain on my home life.

After everything ...

I have not been on for a few weeks as I have had a very stressful time due to being concerned about the baby  and i have had some personnel issues to deal with which could get a lot more serious in the next few weeks which i am getting so stressed about. I am finding it very hard to keep everything normal for my 5 & 6 year old I keep having good and bad days. I think I am finding this very hard as I have no one outside my family to talk to as I do not want people knowing. I wish I could just talk about it now but I can't do that, I just want someone to pinch me and I would wake up with everything  back to normal but I know that could never happen. Apart from all the stress I am under I think Junior is fine I keep feeling movement which really cheers me up and I can't believe I am over half way now, it is going so quick. I'm starting to get myself upset so I am going to go and sort the kids out ready for bed. Hopefully next time I will have ...

I had my detailed scan yesturday and I was very nervous encase the results went higher for Downs which was 1 in 55 chance and could go up to 1 in 5 chance. Thankfully that was ok, but I have got to go back for another scan at about 31 weeks as the kidney's wasn't right they were on the border line for the measurement. 1 is 4.6 and the other is 5, so if they are over 5 there is more of a concern but they are bringing me back for another scan just encase. I think she said it's something to do with water in the kidney's or something like that i'm not quite sure. So now I have something else to try not to worry about. I never had no problems with the other 2.

 I can't wait until the end of July when the baby's due. I am so looking forward to it the kids are so excited and keep asking me when Junior is going to be here. The other day we were round my mum & dads and my brother & girlfriend was there (we don't see them very often). She came up to me and touched m ...

It's my 20 week scan tomorrow suprisingly I have not been to worried but fingers crossed. I had a bit of a stressfull weekend the other week kids, stepdaughter  (teenager) and husband everything they said and argued about I was in tears I just couldn't help it. This weekend was better hubby went to the rugby and stepdaughter was at her friends but even when they all came back it was quite good.

I dread every dinner time as soon as they come in for dinner they start 1 gives the other a look and then it winds the other up even the stepdaughter gets wound up by a 6 & 5 year old, it doesn't even make any difference when you tell her not to get stressed out by them they're only 6&5. Again today was slightly better still a bit of argueing but I actually kept calm this time. Well i'll be back after my scan when i get chance to keep up to date.

It's a week after seeing the midwife and having a blood test for Down's. I had a phone call last night to say it had come back high risk. I just knew it, this pregnancy is so different from the others. I am not looking forward to going to see the midwife at the hospital to talk about it cause I don't know what to do. I feel so guilty as i wanted another one and hubby didn't, but we discussed it and decided if we do, it has to be now as we are both getting that bit older. I get so upset just thinking about it, I am writing this. It really does help though letting it out even if it is not talking to some one face to face. I always think the worst and get stressed really easy at the moment. I just feel I should have not discussed having another one and been happy with the 2 beautiful children I have. I really don't know what I am going to do.